For the past whole week, I have been attending numerous interviews and such. It is pretty... tiring. Imagine this, 2-3 interviews in a day, and all different locations. From PJ to KL and forth. Travelling in Msia via car, isn't cheap (though I will never get into public transport these days. Too unsafe and packed, and too many foreigners) but it is the best option.
So anyway, job interviews. I got a few bad ones, and definitely some good ones.
There are several occasions or interviews, where these interviewers project a rather cocky or should say, too proud of themselves - kind of image. I can understand certain type of questions that they asked, but what I found personally VERY annoying is the fact that, they stepped on you with some words, and such. One particular one that I remember is this "This XXX company is quite a good company, why did you leave?" (of course, with the rather skeptical questionable and finger-pointing look) - firstly, I should have asked him back, "Why did you say it's a good one? Have you worked there before?" because there were so many red tapes and issues unsolved in this one, which in the end prevent me from developing myself and my job, which I find very unnerving because I feel that when I am paid, I need to perform in one way or another.
Besides, I'm here APPLYING for a job, I'm NOT BEGGING for it. End of the day when you decide that I'm the right person, I will make the FINAL call on whether to work with you.
Or there were this company who just say things and ended it in 15mins? Oh well, kinda expected since it's a Cobra Group. It's funny that I still went ahead with this interview, but there are just too many new names for Cobra Group these days.
And good ones are generally those who are openly asking questions on why I take certain actions, and what I'm seeking. Or even that nice manager from Malaysian Today, who end up telling and teaching me certain things. I can't help but agree with him on a number of matters, and thankful that he opened up my mind on certain things. And even another CEO in particular, is more interested in the person I am than the experience I had on certain fields. I am thankful for that.
It just makes me frustrated to think that many companies are questioning my reasons for leaving certain quarters, when I claimed that I enjoyed my job. What I can't tell them is how one job in particular, changed me into a very skeptical person when it comes to dealing with managers in particular. Occasionally I found myself recalling my times in my first job. I enjoyed the tasks given to me. Though I'm busy but I loved the fact that I'm multi-tasking, handling matters from sales, events to creatives. However, it proved to be quite an issue when it comes to dealing with my manager. It's not like that she's a horrible manager, or a bad person. But it just happened that the way she micro-handled me (no doubt, this actually was her advantage at her job, b'cos of her micro-sight she often never miss any little details that may prove to be important), and my stubbornness, end up making us loathe the sight of each other at some point.
But it went beyond that for me. I literally quite HATED her, onto a very personal level. It doesn't help that she put me in a depression mode for more than a year. I turned into a moody person, refuse to talk much to my family and friends, or when I do talk and once it touched on work topic, I get very frustrated and angry and I will start tearing up. Or those few times when I dreaded the time she will call my name in the office, not that it ever a bad thing, but I just get very worried if she starts finding faults with me - which leads me to HATE the sound of people calling my name. And because she is just seated in an open cubicle next to me (there's a partition), I am extremely sensitive to the sound of her chair. When she stood up, I waited with fear that my name will be called upon once I heard those "squeak" sound her chair made. It goes to a point that I had nightmares almost every night related to her, where it could be a scene that she screwed me in meeting, in front of everyone or she'll be screaming at me over the proposals I gave her. It causes me to be very much sleep-deprived and emotional. I can't recall the amount of times that I end up crying in the office toilet after she decided to "have a word" with me, whether or not it related to me. There are just occasions where I find her screaming at me, over things that is not caused by me but by other colleagues, or it's just her foul mood. Or even when I'm out of the office, there are several occasions she made me rushed back to settle some small matters which could be left til I come back later, or only to tell me "It's nothing actually" when I rushed from another appointment to the office. It goes to the point that I actually assigned a very emotional (actually it suppose to be funny) ringtone to her contact on my phone, and whenever my phone rang with that tone, I ended up crying or just want to jump over the cliff and die. I didn't know till now especially, how suicidal I was back then, till another close friend (who was my colleague then) told me that she didn't realized the extend of my emotional wreck till she re-use her old phone, all my old SMS-es to her were still stored. Almost every SMS contain the meanings that I wanted to end my life then and there.
All I can say is, that that is certainly one of the important things I think about whenever a job prospect comes along. Ultimately, I just want to have a healthy mind and life, so getting the right job with the right environment is very important to me. Alot of people look at the money part, as important as money is, but if you felt so bad on the job, it will not last still. At least that is that for me, I'm sure others will have their own opinion on that.
